It's September and WHSmith are selling......

[Aghatha]

'What are you doing for Xmas? Where are you going? What have you bought your wife/kids/parents/cats? What are you eating? Are your family coming around? Have you you had your Xmas works do yet? Have you seen the 3 for 2 bargains in Boots? Did you know Poundworld are doing a gazillion Xmas crackers for £1? Oooh, have you heard that Xmas song on the radio? Do you think it'll be Xmas No. 1? Where are you getting your turkey from? Are the kids looking forward to it? Are they doing a Nativity play?'

You would think that answering those questions over and over and over with every person you meet would give you good reason to say 'I've done my bit and told you the answers over and over and over, now **** off and don't mention it again', but oh no, fat chance sucker! Now you have to listen to what THEY'RE doing, what consumer crap they've bought at Boots for 3 for 2, how many gazillion crackers they'll need for their hordes of fucking family, which Xmas song they think will hit No1, what their works do will be like, what happened in their works do last year, oh it was so funny don't you know, Fred got pissed and put his paper hat on back to front and danced on the tables singing 'so this is christmas' while stuffing novelty secret santa presents up his own arse, oh he was fucking funny you should have been there, Mildred laughed so hard she pucked advocat down someone's backs, I had such a stinking hangover the next day I almost couldn't get out of bed to unwrap my present of a shitty little overpriced bottle of perfume from my hubbie that stinks to high heaven, but it's for the kids these days innit, it's all for the kids, are yours doing a nativity play this year..?...'

That's the beauty of being a shut in. Other than the forum I have about... let me think... 8 people I actually speak to IRL and usually Mum has told most of the others what I am doing anyway. Maybe it's an Aussie thing but the shop attendants don't tend to ask those questions either. Add to that the fact that immediate family do a Kris Kringle buy-one-present-limited-to-costing-50-dollars and it's pretty easy. I do still buy people Angry Gift Horse (invented character in my user pic) presents that are just cheap silly things every year. I enjoy Christmas overall because I love buying presents, that I can afford obviously, to get people to have a fun day. I know it would be a bitch if I had to cook though.

[Triggerhappytel]

Yeah, get used to it... Christmas is on it's way.
I want to be my usual cynical, anti-corporate self about it... but with two young kids it's a bit more meaningful.

Can I do it for both of us? I'll even get a cane I can swing at cats and other peoples' children!

[Shaolin_monkey]

I love my partner at Xmas. She has this tradition that on Xmas Day, no-one is allowed in through the front door. She sees it as one of the few days in the year where no family, friends or randoms can pester her. She makes the obligatory calls in the morning then settles down to opening prezzies, stuffing her face and getting blind drunk unmolested.

I was a bit shocked the first year I went out with her, but quickly realised the benefits.

Even since the kids came along we have the same policy. My father once said 'But what if Santa Claus came knocking on the door on Xmas day (meaning him in a santa suit for the kids) with gifts for the children?'. My partner replied Santa would soon get pretty bloody cold standing on the doorstep shouting Xmas greetings through the letter box, and if he had any sense he'd stay in the North Pole for the duration.

I love my partner!

[Triggerhappytel]

She makes the obligatory calls in the morning then settles down to opening prezzies, stuffing her face and getting blind drunk unmolested.

Next time you might as well cop a feel when she's pissed.

[The+Deleted]

...and getting blind drunk unmolested.

Relationships: You're doing it wrong!

[Shaolin_monkey]

Uh uh, no way. I've got more important things to do on Xmas Day. Like play all my new 360 games. Jeez, you guys need to sort out your priorities!

[fatboyslick]

Tesco's unleashed Mince Pies this week - 2 for 1 as well I think

[WonderMel]

Tesco's unleashed Mince Pies this week - 2 for 1 as well I think

I fucking love mince pies!

[shinymcshine]

Slightly related to mince pies, but I've noticed that Waitrose seem to sell Hot Cross Buns all year round now.

[Shaolin_monkey]

Boots have set out their 3 for 2 range, complete with red banner/white snowflake decals.

And so it begins.


You know, this next three months should be an absolute joy for me. From September onwards, my hayfever dies down, I can step out the front door without instantly receiving third degree burns, and the wasps are all (mostly) dead. I also don't catch cold and flu, even though everyone around me seems to start spluttering and coughing the minute the nights start drawing in. However, all these wonderful pluses seem to pale into insignificance when I'm confronted with the run up to Xmas [see rant above]. It really spoils my enjoyment of the few months I start feeling human again.

I wish there was some way I could just ignore it, switch it all off, bury my head in the sand somehow. I just can't though - it's all anyone talks about! The radio, the folk in work, my family. I have nowhere I can go to avoid it all.

In fact, I've got to start ignoring this thread now, as just talking about it is reminding me of what's coming.

[PlatinumSpectre]

There's this pub/hotel/restaurant I always drive past on my driving lessons, and for about 3 months now it has had a "BOOK NOW FOR CHRISTMAS" banner up.