Brassnecked cacky poop

[Unicron]

This thread = win!

[Bilge Rat]

Aren't condoms a bit shit? Obviously I have no first-hand experience with either rubbers or lady parts, but don't they totally ruin the sensations of the whole thing?

I realise that they serve a purpose and I'm not suggesting that people should use nothing instead, but don't you just spend the whole time thinking how much better it would feel if you didn't have it on and wishing that you didn't have to put up with it?

Have a posh wank and find out!

I can't buy condoms though. Don't you get at least three in a pack, and they only have a few years experation date on them? If I use one then I still have two that will go out of date - I don't like wasting stuff like that.

[Killer_Carp]

Aren't condoms a bit shit? Obviously I have no first-hand experience with either rubbers or lady parts, but don't they totally ruin the sensations of the whole thing?

I realise that they serve a purpose and I'm not suggesting that people should use nothing instead, but don't you just spend the whole time thinking how much better it would feel if you didn't have it on and wishing that you didn't have to put up with it?

Have a posh wank and find out!

[WonderMel]

I can't buy condoms though. Don't you get at least three in a pack, and they only have a few years experation date on them? If I use one then I still have two that will go out of date - I don't like wasting stuff like that.

Dude. Your thought processes scare me. Couldn't you just find some bird to shag? Tell her you've got some condoms to use up, that's my favourite chat up line!

[Bilge Rat]

Something tells me that your line will work a lot better for women than it will for men

And women aren't interested in me anyway. The problem is that women all seem to want someone who is handsome or romantic or funny or sweet or popular or rich or confident or powerful or well-dressed or talented or cheerful or distinguished or cool or cute or sensitive or charming or approachable or happy or dependable or stylish or toned or effervescent or manly or well-groomed or compassionate or smiley or interesting or attractive in some way. How am I meant to compete with that?

[Miss Moth]

I find you quite approachable. But I am not a woman.

[Bilge Rat]

I find you quite approachable.

Maybe because I am too feeble to be threatening in any way?

[PlatinumSpectre]

Your bloody depressing.

[RYAN WHITELAW]

Your bloody depressing.

Its not hard to get yer hole.

Just ask.

[Sly Reflex]

Bilge needs to go somewhere where they think Scottish people are exotic. Like America. They won't have a clue what the hell he's talking about though, unless you talk like Dick van Dyke or the Queen a lot of them have trouble understanding the lingo.

[Bilge Rat]

When I went to Florida as a teenager I made friends with an American girl and her mates at a waterpark. She couldn't believe that I had travelled all the way from Scotland (she probably thought it was near China somewhere), and conculded that my parents must be rich.

Then it rained and we had to leave.

[Killer_Carp]

and conculded that my parents must be rich.

Everyone in the south thinks everyone else is rich. I moved from Cali to Virginia when I was little and all the kids in my school would ask me if my parents were rich and for some reason thought I surfed.

[maf-me-quick]

...did you surf?

[Miss Moth]

...did you surf?

All Americans surf - they surf through life, sucking donuts and yo-gert and shooting each other at school and getting boobs and 'taking the 5th' and wanking into cherry pies and faking the big O and tossing midgets and Ricki Lake and Judge Judy and Kim Kardashian and shit shit shit.

I love Americans. I especially love Americans who say I have a British accent. No, it's English. But really, I do love Americans. Much more fun than English people. Americans have fun at least. English people are stupid and shitty.

[Killer_Carp]

...did you surf?

No I did not.

I love Americans. I especially love Americans who say I have a British accent. No, it's English. But really, I do love Americans. Much more fun than English people. Americans have fun at least. English people are stupid and shitty.