Bereavement - Help

[RYAN WHITELAW]

My missus's dad died earlier (sudden heart attack in kitchen, died in her arms), really bad time and i had to tell my stepson his papa (who he was very close to, had died) he broke down big time and it was only me and him in the house (rest of the family was at hospital) one of the worst hings iv ever had to do.

Now we have been talking and the future looks bleak, her parents had no assets or money and the funeral alone is gonna make things terrible on me the girlfriend (financially) and the kids as we might need to get her mother to move in with us. Also the fact i am not working and im getting no benefits whatsoever puts a heap of stress on us.

The question is (although i doubt anyone can help due to the ages of most forum members) Does anyone know if there is someway of getting some money in bereavement from the government (iv had a quick look online but nothing was clear), also do the gas/electric/banking companies give leeway into paying bills? My girlfriends mum hasnt got enough of a pension on her own to pay for the bills.

My (complicated) homeless and unemployment situation has took a back seat for the time being.
Its always one thing after another, my life is full of so much tradegy in recent years, i think im a jinx.

Thanks for any help anyone can offer.

[Sly Reflex]

You can apply for a grant for funerals, and the widow will get a widows pension for one year commencing on death. That's all I can tell you. There is money out there from the government in these situations, you just have to dig for it.

[OnThinIce]

There are lots of charities that deal with helping cope with losing a family member

http://www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk/

is just one, i'm sure that they will be in a much better position to give you advice than anyone here

sorry to hear about your loss bro

[Tlix]

Did you jack your job in or did you get fired? If the latter they are a bit more giving but I think that one's a little obvious. Also do you own your house or are you renting? If you own if you may have to think about giving it up and going into the renting scene as the government do **** all to help you otherwise with the bills etc.

I would suggest maybe speaking to citizens advice too. When my mum had to go see them they weren't much help with her and put her in a worse situation but I shouldn't think every department is like it.

[RYAN WHITELAW]

Thanks guys, going to see a few people tomorrow and hopefully get something sorted, but even if the funeral gets paid for we still have massive housing problems, gonna be a long hard road but im staying upbeat and strong for the sake of the family.

Its gonna be hard explaining to the kids about the amount of changes.

[RYAN WHITELAW]

And tix, my job was between a firing and me walking out, i injured my back and had to go home one night then my boss said i wouldnt be working again, after a massive argument on the phone and me questioning the agencies practices i told them i dont want to work for them.

so i dont get any benefits anyway because the benefits people say my girlfriend earns enough money to support me and the 2 kids. And also pay for the mortage and bills, oh did i mention she works 20 hours a week......

This is the reason im gonna have to declare myself homeless and try and get a house of my own. Also the fact iv been having problems with the missus before all this happened and if we had to break up i would have no where to go.

Oh life is great.

[meu02136]

Well yeah there's Bereavement Benefit, and you would claim ESA as well. Depending on how close the person is to you.

[RYAN WHITELAW]

im not trying to claim anything, its my girlfriend and her mum that are trying to get help.

As for my benefits situation, im fucked, unless i get another job soon.

[Tlix]

Go into renting. There's usually a benefit somewhere that they will give to you once you take that step. As long as you have a mortgage they won't touch you. I can't really say what to do about your gf earning too much though. I'm thinking its around the 30 grand mark they stop helping usually. So if she's earning less then that you just need to keep trying and trying until someone gives you something.

[RYAN WHITELAW]

she earns less than 10k a year, im still not entiled to jobseekers allowance.

its complicated and iv got so much to do the now that i cant explain it all in detail through text.

[michaelarby]

my mum died last year man so i know a little about this stuff, though it my vary depending on the deceased's circumstances. her funeral (a pretty standard one)cost about £1900 altogether for which the govt. paid about 1000. now im an only child, student, and my mum was single parent so i dont know if that was a factor in that but they should subsidise all funerals as far as im aware.

also- if the grandfather had a pension scheme the next of kin should get a lump sum a month or two down the line. dont know if this counts for state pensions or only unionised ones (my mums was through some teachers union or something, not really sure). my mum didnt have a will, so all her assets are still being settled legally, even 14 months on- u said this guy didnt have any property or anything, but even in terms of life insurance, bills etc it can take a long while to get sorted.

ill try to think of anything else that might help. chin up dude

[RYAN WHITELAW]

Thanks mate, been ,making alot of phone calls today, some which have angered me very much. I dont think his widow will get any payouts, he only had a poor pension of around 50 quid a week from the govenrment.

Also, this made me extremelly angry...

We asked for the cheapest possible service, The funeral place gave us a price of £2040 for which some will be paid maybe (hopefully by government, we dont know how much or if we are entiltled)

So we asked if limos or anything were provided and they said no, its just a basic service, they take the body from hospital and take it to the crematorium and thats pretty much it. We accepted this.

So after another converstion with the funeral director it turns out they have another service that comes with a limo and other nice things....for the same price, we asked why they didnt tell us this before it was arranged and all he had to say was "well you wanted the cheapest" in a right arsehole tone, i dont even wanna describe my anger at this. After some talking we were not allowed to change anything, this is a family run business and as far as i can see they want to save themselves money and are basically discriminaing against a family who are skint at the moment and live in a poorer area. You would think in a very stressful and emmotional time like this a family run business would do everything they could do give you the best possible service and they have just shat on us.

When i have a spare moment and no one is around, im gonna have a very, very serious word with the funeral director about his policies and lack of humanity.