Batman v Superman

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Batman v Superman

Post by maf-me-quick » Mon Jul 17, 2017 10:15 pm

No not the movie

I understand that on a large scale both super heroes are exceptionally popular, but let's be honest one of them is a lot more popular than the other. Most of the reasons are as follows: Superman is boring because he's too strong, he's too perfect, he only has one weakness, he comes from a time long passed, he is unrelateable. You can't tell stories about a guy who is invincible.

Batman however is awesome because he has no super powers, he is broken on the inside, he is exceptionally vulnerable, he's timeless and works anyway, you can understand Batman. You can totally tell stories about a regular guy.

Shut your fucking mouth who do you know that is anything like Batman. Like even a little bit.

Here's the thing for me. I was watching Ant-Man last night and said in the movie thread I don't like the movie because although it's fun and light and bubbly it's probably too light weight and too transparent for me. Like every single second of that movie is barely hidden exposition, every single scene's only point is to move the movie along but in a funny way. The thing that got to me after watching it is that isn't my issue with the movie at all, at least not fully. My issue with the movie is that none of it is real. Not even a little bit. The characters don't behave like real people, the world around them doesn't react to the character's behaviour like a real world would, the lives people lead don't make any sense, no one talks like a real person does, it has 0% reality anywhere in the film.

Except for the super power of being really tiny. Maybe I'm crazy but that's the only part of the film that makes any kind of sense, if you were tiny, you could probably do those things. Like if you were tiny you probably would be a really good burgler. However if you studied electrical engineering I don't believe you would be an expert safe cracker, amateur parkour enthusiast, understand advanced molecular level science and be ripped as all fuk. There is no reality to this at all.

Batman v Superman

Here's the thing. I don't know anyone like Bruce Wayne. Like not even a little bit. And I'm not talking about the dead parents or the money or the looks or the intelligence. I mean on a fundamental level I have never met anyone like Bruce Wayne. A guy that can do literally anything he fucking wants to for basically no reason. He is capable beyond imagining. There is nothing he can't put he's hands to and be the best in the world at it immediately. Scientist, detective, escape artist, Ninja, tech whizz, knows ever language, black belt in every martial art, even fictional ones, hypnotist, business guru, best driver in the world. Fuk he's so good at driving he's car doesn't even get caught in traffic jams.

And what's the reason for it? Because he's Batman, and that's kind of cool, right? I get that. I enjoy it too. There's a mystique and a fun side about it that's great to laugh at. How does he always leave a scene and no one knows? Because he's Batman. How is he always 3 steps ahead of everyone else even the rest of the Justice League? Because he's Batman. How can he already solve a crime 4 years before it's happened? Because he's Batman.

This is why Batman is cool. Because he has no super powers. Because he's a regular guy.

Fucking what

Here is the difference for me between Superman and Batman. One of them is impossible. The other one is completely fucking inexplicable.

It is impossible that a guy can fly and be super strong and shoot lasers from he's eyes and whatever else. But, given that one element, given that a guy could do those things, then the rest of it, for the most part, makes sense. Because I know people like Clark. Clark, outside of he's powers, is absolutely the most ordinary guy in comics. He grew up normal, and a good support structure, went to school, made friends, did well, moved about a bit, hit a city, met a girl, settled down. It just happens that he can fly. It has no bearing on who he actually is. He chooses to do good things with he's powers but he is a regular, level headed, everyday kind of person. We choose to do good things when we can and what are advantages afford us. It makes sense to me that if an everyday person saw a plane fall out of the sky and could do something about it they would. You don't need to be a genius, or a billionaire, or have suffered tragedy, or need a butler, or a boy side kick to see that oh that person needs help and I can help I should help. Right? That's normal. That's logical. That's relateable.

Superman is not a story about a guy who is invincible. It is a story about a guy within the context of super hero circumstances. Is the things that Superman does impossible? Absolutely. But given that one leap of faith, it makes total sense within that reality.

What the fuk is Batman.

He is capable beyond the absurd. He is wilful beyond belief. He is tougher than anyone could ever be. And there's 0 reality to any of it. He is mega trained, unbelievably versatile, always prepared, paranoid, vigilant, you can't out smart him, you can't fight him, you can't escape him, you can't out money him, you can't trap him, you can't trick, sucker punch or slow him down. And even if he does come up against someone that can break he's bones he just. Gets. Meaner. He is completely invincible. The the things that everyone says about Superman never ring true to me. He is vulnerable. He hurts when people around him hurt. Batman doesn't fucking do that. He does have limits. Batman doesn't fucking have any of those. Superman is relateable. Name one aspect of Batman which is just like you.

It can't be done. Batman is Superman, Superman is just a guy that can fly.

And this isn't about popularity. I'm not trying to say you should feel this way or that way. I like Batman, too. I love Gotham. I love dark, fantastical, pulpy, noir, gritty, superhero crime themed detective stories about the world' most completely incorruptible bad ass on a never ending mission to bring hope to the most corrupt city in America.

But I'm saying don't bring the lines that Batman is just a guy or that he has no super powers in to the conversation. Superman can fly, but there's a reality to it that if a guy could fly he would do good things to help people. There is 0 reality to Batman at all, just because a guy hits the deck when he gets punched doesn't make him real, the fact he gets back up afterwards is just even more crazy.

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