The Rant Thread

[Miss Moth]

Meanwhile, the audience members, who presumably have been fed cupfuls of amphetamines on the way in, all clap along as if their lives depended on it. Maybe Brucie goes round with a machine gun before the show threatening anyone who doesn't smile inanely and clap along.

If ever there was justification for genocide THIS is it. Man, I'm starting to think we were cut from the same cloth. Are you my Doppelgänger? Uncontrollably and unconsciously drawn to this forum so that we might be joined in a devastating fusion which will destroy the universe...


.. Or just some bloke that has very similar views?

Perhaps we are the same. Chuck my name (CJvonGammon) into Live and see what happens.

[leeray666]

I can't at the moment. My bros. borrowing my 360 and he lives in Wales, which is about a 5 hour drive away....

... Crap. I'm giving you clues to my location.

[Sherak]

Microwave meals

Peel the lid 50% of the way off before you even start cooking it and when you do get to the point were it says stir it, it is very easy to peel back the film also at this point stir it properly like the box says and then the food will be all the same temperature when you eat it.

Dancing

Dont watch it

[Miss Moth]

Microwave meals

Peel the lid 50% of the way off before you even start cooking it and when you do get to the point were it says stir it, it is very easy to peel back the film also at this point stir it properly like the box says and then the food will be all the same temperature when you eat it.

Dancing

Dont watch it

Clearly the meals you are partaking of, Lord Sherak, are not the same as those that I end up with, struggling to find the lip of plastic, then tearing it into ribbons like Wolverine has come to dinner, all the while covering it and myself in manky sauce. As for the dancing, living in a house with three women who can't get enough of it and being a little on the too-ill-to-leave-the-house side makes that difficult.

Thanks for your advice though.

[RYAN WHITELAW]

MW2 online.

Its actually shows me what the teenage and younger kids of today are like.
Abusive foul mouthed little dipshits. i really want to beat them all with a large belt.

[Sly Reflex]

I want you to beat them with a large belt too.

[michaelarby]

in response to the rant about dancing shows- surely the best one has to be 'so you think you can dance?' where 10 smiley eejits are basically competing to be a backing dancer. thats right- if you win our show, you get to stand behind the guy who won x factor! oh yeah!!!

[clockley]

Seconded.

[Miss Moth]

in response to the rant about dancing shows- surely the best one has to be 'so you think you can dance?' where 10 smiley eejits are basically competing to be a backing dancer. thats right- if you win our show, you get to stand behind the guy who won x factor! oh yeah!!!

I avoided that one successfully, but I saw there were two new dancing shows starting on the same night, and that's a couple of weeks after some 'How to be Michael Jackson' show began. It's really all too much and fucks me right off. They'll put any old shit on Sky, and that's fine for people who can't get enough ITV2, but the fact that my licence fee is going on all this tripe makes we want to stick spikes in my balls.

[leeray666]

What has happened to TV? Surely nobody actually likes this stuff? Surely people are only watching it because there's literally nothing else to watch?
I know what's caused it.
Money.
Or the drive for it. It's like what's happened to Hollywood and the games industry lately.
People are scared to try new ideas. There's a checklist of old money making staples that these industries stick to, regardless of whether they are shit or not. When someone does have the balls to try something new - if it's successful - everyone else will proceed to rip the shit off it and bring out their own version of the said idea until this idea seems to be the only thing around.

You're so right about the celebrity thing. Since when did it become "good TV", watching celebrities fill all the spots that normal, - generally sane - human beings used to occupy? And what is it with these celebrities? Sure they've got to make some money, they've got families to feed... or ex-families to feed, or divorce settlements to pay off, or drug habits to pay for. Sure, they've got used to the lavish lifestyle that their 15 minute pop career once paid for and are finding it terribly hard to re-adjust. Sure they've got used to spending lots of money on shit while they had that great job modelling/presenting day time TV/being a popular comedian; and that now they've been caught taking drugs/using prostitutes/downloading child porn/or with a dead guy in the pool, their agents/publishers/producers/bosses have dropped them, but why do they have to jump at every chance to appear on TV? You see some that go straight from the Jungle to the Big Brother house, and will probably be on both the major dancing shows before the year is out. Can't these people fade away into obscurity like Adam Ant? Please?... Or at the very least die; as in, kill themselves?

[Miss Moth]

Bang on brother ^^

Back not so long ago, TV bosses allowed ordinary people to go on their programmes. Why the cock do we now have to see these celebs on everything? There is hardly a game show left that doesn't feature celebs winning money for charidee, which of course they are all eager to be on because it shows their charidable side, or rather they want to increase their fame status while at the same time getting a nice warm feeling inside for helping the poor unfortunates with TV money that's been made through advertising or sponsorships. In other words, it's fucking shit. All of it.

Strictly Come Dancing used to be bearable to watch before it was celebbed. Before Mr & Mrs became All-Star, like Family Fortunes too, they were good, funny shows that traded on the humour that comes from watching ordinary people not knowing shit about each other and having no idea what 100 people would have said about famous Arthurs.

With all this money being given to deserving charidees, the rest of the previously game show fodder are presumably now below the poverty line because they cannot win vast sums of undeserved money on game shows. Shit, Catchphrase used to send these curly-haired, loud shirt-wearing tosspots off to New Zealand for a month, and that doesn't come cheap (not to mention the tourism money and relations built up as a result).

Therefore, the world is a much poorer place for the fact that these fucking grinning wankfaces known as celebrities are taking up all the TV space and the money that should be given to the expressionless pisswads who really should be on the telly: they are far more entertaining (evidenced by the fine selection of retards Barrymore always managed to get on his shows) and deserving of the money than charidees that will swallow up all the money in administrative costs. TV is worse, the world is worse, and there is no end in sight. **** it.

[Sherak]

Clearly the meals you are partaking of, Lord Sherak, are not the same as those that I end up with, struggling to find the lip of plastic, then tearing it into ribbons like Wolverine has come to dinner, all the while covering it and myself in manky sauce. As for the dancing, living in a house with three women who can't get enough of it and being a little on the too-ill-to-leave-the-house side makes that difficult.

Thanks for your advice though.

Then, my dear subject, I suggest thy partake in shopping at more favourable establishments

Seriously though, I do dig your rant but you may find it works, for some reason they peal easier when cold and also as they are cold you can be a little more patient, its bollocks that they say prick it, cos obviously that also aids the shredability of said plastic... give it a go

Cant help with the dancing though man, get a tent a portable tv and a extention lead maybe

[Sickboy 71]

Sickmoth-quality rantage. I fear the GMTV viewing hordes love their z list celebs and fading soap stars as the number of Heat-esque magazines out there testifies.

Sadly they love nothing better than seeing them dancing or wallowing in the jungle eating rat droppings but be patient, surely the Ginsters quaffing masses will tire of these goons and sooner rather than later some coke jaded exec in a desperate bid for ratings will happen upon the notion of celebrities and grisly death.

Imagine the joy in your heart when you flick on the tv to be greeted with the voice over "and tonight ladies and gentlemen, we present for your viewing pleasure, a fight to the death between Dean Gafney and a grizzly bear..."

I'd watch.

[affleck]

Piers Morgan

So, I was flicking through television channels the other night and happened on a clip of Shanghai, which having been there, stopped me from flicking past. Then this tw*t shows up with his perma-smug face going 'This is what the 21st Century looks like'

Why is he on my television almost all the time? Why does he always look as if someone - more beautiful than anyone who could possibly be watching the television - has just slipped a finger up his backside? What exactly has he ever done apart from be editor of a couple of not-very-good newspapers, where his raison d'etre was to milk celebrities for every single column inch he could weasel out of them and publish photos of the Iraq war that were revealed as fake within days? You could almost see him squirming with happiness in those interviews he did with Jordan - he looks like he would explode with joy by just simply being on the television as much as possible.

I personally think that him and Simon Cowell are actually masterminding the end of times - they both have the same look about them, as if they know something we all don't and will use it for their own ends.

Oh, and if the 21st Century is like Shanghai, count me out - smog ridden hell. Although, the tunnel under the river was pretty trippy and the M on the Bund restaurant did fantastic pork crackling - highly recommended! Not Piers though - he can f*ck off.

[OnThinIce]

the new IGN layout is horrible and as a result I no longer vist the site, well done IGN