Election Horoscopes from Russell Grant

[Miss Moth]

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! This is awesome.

Election Horoscopes from Russell Grant

09 April 2010

Immediate Release - 9th April 2010 16:00 The UK's Number 1 Astrologer Russell Grant has revealed the Horoscope forecast for Gordon Brown and David Cameron for the May election. The Horoscope has been based on their time, date and place of birth to enable Russell to produce a specific planetary chart based on their exact time/place of birth. Whether you're a loyal Labour supporter, a solid Tory ambassador or remain undecided, Russell's Horoscopes reveal some hidden truths behind the leaders of each party:

Gordon Brown
With such uncertainty in the Election Day chart and Gordon’s capacity to believe whatever he wants (his grip on certain realities is pretty weak) – he can spout total untruths with righteous conviction – he has fooled most of the people, most of the time. He is currently in his Jupiter return year – a potentially advantageous configuration and could do better than many expect this Election. But there is something in the combination of charts that tells me Gordon must beware the Ides of May! The biggest threat to any success on May 6th comes from himself. He has a self-destructive streak rising from an inability to be adaptable and flexible and it is this (Mercury opposition Pluto) that is triggered off by the Sun/Moon square in the Election Day chart so there is a need for more Piscean compassion on what really matters to the individual voter, the price of petrol for instance or equipment for the troops. But whatever happens I strongly suspect that win or lose, a coup against him is just a matter of time for what he did to Tony Blair will be done to him – there is a karmic, fated feel to his “astrologicals” as he will learn what comes around, goes around. His destiny lies firmly in his own hands: at worst is a deluded, tortured soul and if he confronts his own demons it will pave the way to a more likeable, popular person.

David Cameron
Pearls before swine! Some things Libran Dave promises to deliver will go over the heads of so many. There is a chance that the ridiculous ‘toff’ image for the unsophisticated amongst the electorate could rub off – BUT whatever he does the rigid unintelligentsia are never going to vote Tory anyway. But he does have a very beautiful chart with an emphasis on Leo and Libra – including Libra’s ruler Venus – sure he has charm but being a triple Libran AND Leo this gives him abilities as a tactician, diplomat and suave performer. However, a lot of Libra can also lead to vacillation and procrastination – for instance I have taken a peek at Chris Grayling’s chart and in recent months the possible Home Secretary to be has come up with gaffe after gaffe and he could undo much of the good work Dave is doing – he must get rid of this April 1st fool or he will hold back the party’s image. David Cameron must not waiver when the time comes for him to make a choice, he must have the power vested in his chart (and his Mars return in Leo) to give those who don’t come up to scratch a right royal thumbs down. His chart compared with the British and Election Day chart is not too bad but with Mercury retrograde and squaring his Jupiter/Moon in regal Leo is MUST spell everything out in single syllables and leave nothing to chance – he must explain his policies and intentions or others are bound to put words in his mouth and that could be his failure – an inability to speak for himself if he hasn’t made something clear – he could lose the election on presumptions and assumptions not to mention the wiles of fellow Libran, Peter Mandelson.

Editorial Notes: 1. Any copy used (in part of full) must be credited with www.russellgrant.com 2. A request was made to the Lib Dem Press Office for Birth details of Nick Clegg, but unfortunately this information was not provided, hence Nick has not been included in the Horoscope Forecasts. 3. Russell Grant & Russell Grant Astrology Limited are not supporting any specific candidate or Political party.

[Bilge Rat]

I like how despite the fact that this election is going to be the most predictable in over a decade the fat twat still hasn't actually gone out on a limb and told us who is going to win.

And four seconds on wikipedia told me Clegg's DOB was 7th January 1967. Fraudulent Ass.

[Miss Moth]

Russell is very insightful. It is hard for me to comprehend the workings of such a developed psychic mind that can not only tap into the very essence of these public figures but also be so acute in its understanding of them. Quite incredible. Literally.